CEO Mama Newsletter: Second Edition

Hey ,

I'm thrilled to be back in your inbox to discuss a topic that's reshaping our lives as entrepreneurial mamas: being the breadwinner in our families. 

As more of us step into our power and build wildly successful businesses while raising families, it's time for an honest conversation about what this truly looks like.

The Rise of The Female Breadwinner

For many high-achieving entrepreneurial mamas, we’re no longer just juggling business meetings and kids schedules, but we’re now also stepping into the role of primary earner in our household, which comes with a whole new layer of responsibility + pressure.

Women have come a long way to get here… but just because we’ve now reached a new level of opportunity and access doesn’t mean we’re exempt from the feelings of guilt, overwhelm, and resentment that can come with the territory.

Nearly 40% of American households have a woman as the main provider, which is truly incredible - but this means we also need to start getting real about what we need in order to thrive long-term while “doing it all.”  

The Work-Life “Balance” Facade

We are made to believe that we can ‘have it all’ and still experience work-life balance. But being the primary breadwinner often means you’re grappling with things like… 

- Financial pressure and anxiety to hold it all

- Constantly competing priorities between your work and family

- Feelings of guilt and resentment for how much you do every single day 

And to top it off, when you’re scrolling Instagram you’re basically just seeing the perfect highlight Reels that show an unrealistic version of motherhood + entrepreneurship. 

Rebecca Minkoff describes this so well. She said: “There’s no such thing as work-life balance - this term made up by an angry person is mostly aimed at women to make us feel like failures…”

She goes on to talk about how men have never been expected to have work-life balance and how it’s truly something we’ve been conditioned to believe.

And of course, they weren’t also expected to cook all the meals, clean the house, organize the family schedule, book all the appointments, pump milk, and make babies all while working full-time jobs. Yeah right. 🤣

So instead of striving for balance, it’s really about finding harmony between motherhood and your ambitions + being really intentional about how they work together.

The Guilt-Resentment Cycle

Another piece that often comes with being the female breadwinner are feelings of guilt and resentment. 

Guilt for not being able to be in two places at once. 

Guilt for not living up to your own ideal version of motherhood.

Resentment for being pulled in every direction.

Resentment for over-extending yourself to serve all the people around you.

It builds in the background and is often the thing that puts such strain on our relationships.

So we’ve got to get to the root, disrupt the pattern, and find the language (+ courage) to express what we truly need. 

Where To Go From Here

1. Do a Mental Load Audit

Get a piece of paper and list out everything that’s weighing you down and stressing you out. What’s contributing to your mental load? 

Press play on this podcast episode to dive deeper into the mental audit if this topic is striking a cord with you. 

2. Identify What You Love Doing

When we know the things that aren’t working, it often reveals the things that are. So write out the things that you actually love doing and that bring you joy in motherhood or your work. 

3. Start a Conversation  

There’s a really amazing conversation deck called Fair Play that I highly recommend. It is such a great tool to open up these types of conversations and begin to discuss some of these topics around the mental load, contribution, support, and partnership. 

If this is resonating and you want to go deeper, this podcast episode is a perfect listen for your next stroller walk or car ride. 

I recently attended a mastermind with dozens of amazing entrepreneurial mamas and a question was asked that sparked a really big conversation…

What’s the one thing you wish you would’ve known in early motherhood? 

The response was pretty unanimous - I wish I would’ve hired support earlier.

Whether it’s bringing in a part-time nanny to be with your kids during the mornings and afternoons, or asking a family member to come stay with you while you finish up a big project or launch. Ask for what you need so it doesn’t all fall on your shoulders. 

So let’s talk about bringing in support… 

Let me just say - I’m very specific when it comes to how I want things done in my home. It’s my sanctuary, so I’m completely unapologetic when it comes to sharing my expectations and requests with anyone who comes in to support.

I truly believe that the little things are actually the big things, so whether it’s explaining exactly how to fold the laundry, the system for organizing the pantry, or order of ops around the house - I’m crystal clear in my communication. 

I know so many of you want more support but feel overwhelmed by the thought of the massive organization, prep, onboarding, and structure you’d first need to create to even be ready to bring it in. 

So, I’ve done something to make your life 1000x easier. 

We’ve put together a 150+ page home playbook with every done for you schedule, template, checklist, and automated tool you could ever need to run your home with ease - that can be easily passed off to a house manager, nanny, EA, or support person. 

If you’d like first access to the playbook click here and we’ll let you know once it’s available!! This link will take you to our Instagram for now, but will automatically add you to the playbook list when we’re ready to share.

This week's nervous system reset is designed to be done with your partner. It's a beautiful way to reconnect with each other: 

1. Sit facing each other, close enough that your knees are almost touching.

2. Take three deep breaths together, synchronizing your inhales and exhales.

3. Place your right hand over your partner's heart, and your left hand over your own.

4. Sit like this for 2-3 minutes, focusing on the connection and your breath.

5. Say something you love and appreciate about the other person.

6. Receive what your partner says they love and appreciate about you.

7. End with a long hug, heart to heart and feeling grateful for one another.

This exercise helps activate your vagus nerve and promotes a sense of safety and connection with your partner. It’s so beautiful and simple to incorporate. 🥹

“From My Hidden Resentment…”

"I love my husband. But some days, I want to shake him and scream, 'Just figure it out already.' 

Last week, I was in the middle of a crucial investor call when my 4-year-old burst into my home office, pants around his ankles, announcing he needed help in the bathroom. My husband was home, supposedly on kid duty.

After wrapping up the call (and the bathroom situation), I found him in the kitchen, headphones on, deep in his own work. When I asked why he didn't handle the bathroom emergency, he looked genuinely confused and said he didn't hear anything.

In that moment, I felt a wave of resentment so strong it scared me. I'm running a company, managing our household, and still somehow the default parent. 

I know he's not doing it on purpose. But in moments like these, I can't help but wonder: Did I sign up for this? Am I wrong for wanting a true partner, not just a cheerleader?

We talked it out later that night. I was honest about my frustrations, and he listened. He promised to be more present, to take more initiative. And I promised to be more direct about what I need, rather than expecting him to read my mind. It's a work in progress."

I know every woman reading is nodding along, seeing herself in these words, and feeling the comfort of knowing she’s not alone but rather in a community that truly gets it. ❤️

xo,
Natalie

P.S. We’re launching a CEO Mama Membership! Want to be considered for one of our very first Founding Member spots? Fill in this quick application form.