CEO Mama Newsletter: 41st Edition

Bottom Line Up Front

The women who "have it all" aren't juggling everything perfectly, they're making conscious trade-offs every single day. Shonda Rhimes built a television empire while raising three daughters, and her secret isn't balance. It's accepting that excellence in one area often means letting go in another, and teaching our kids that ambitious mothers aren't superhuman - we're strategic.

Hey ,

Shonda Rhimes stood in front of thousands of graduating students and said something apparently no successful mother is supposed to admit:

"Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life."

"If I am killing it on a Scandal script at work, I am probably missing baths and story time at home. If I am at home sewing my kids' Halloween costumes, I'm probably blowing off a rewrite I was supposed to turn in."

And every entrepreneurial mother in the audience probably thought: Finally. Someone said it.

The Faustian Bargain

Shonda called it "the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother."

But here's what she understood that most of us are still learning: The trade-off isn't a failure. It's physics.

You have finite energy. Finite hours. Finite emotional bandwidth.

The women pretending they excel at everything simultaneously aren't more capable than you. They're either lying, delegating invisibly, or heading for a breakdown.

Shonda chose honesty: "You never feel 100% okay, you never get your sea legs, you're always a little nauseous, something is always lost, something is always missing."

That nausea? That's not a bug in your system. That's the feature that comes with building something meaningful while raising humans.

What Your Kids Actually Need to See

But here's where Shonda's wisdom gets revolutionary:

"I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works. I want that example set for them... In their world, mothers run companies. In their world, mothers own Thursday nights. In their world, mothers work, and I am a better mother for it."

Your kids don't need a mother who does everything perfectly.

They need a mother who shows them what women are capable of.

When your daughter sees you:

• Taking important calls with confidence

• Making decisions that affect other people's livelihoods

• Creating something from nothing

• Building systems that work without you

• Negotiating, strategizing, leading

She's not learning that mothers sacrifice everything for work. She's learning that mothers are multidimensional humans who contribute to the world beyond car pool and snack duty.

The Guilt Industrial Complex

Every time you feel guilty for working late, ask yourself: Would you want your daughter to feel guilty about her future success?

Every time you apologize for missing a school event because of a client deadline, ask yourself: What message does this guilt send about female ambition?

The guilt you carry about not being "present enough" is often the very thing preventing you from being proud of what you're building.

Shonda understood: "The woman I am because I get to run Shondaland... that woman is a better person and a better mother because that woman is happy. That woman is fulfilled. That woman is whole."

Fulfillment isn't selfish. It's strategic parenting.

The Real Balance

The "work-life balance" everyone talks about? It doesn't exist for CEO mamas.

What exists is "work-life integration" and it looks like this:

Some seasons, your business gets your best energy:

• During launches, your kids might eat more takeout

• During growth phases, bedtime stories might be shorter

• During busy client periods, they might spend more time with dad or caregivers

Some seasons, your family gets your priority:

• During sick weeks, projects might get delayed

• During summer breaks, you might work fewer hours

• During developmental milestones, meetings might get rescheduled

Most days, you're making imperfect choices with incomplete information.

That's not failure. That's conscious leadership of your own life.

What Shonda Knew (That You Need to Remember)

Success as a CEO mama isn't measured by perfect attendance at every school event.

It's measured by:

• Building something sustainable that doesn't require your constant presence

• Creating financial security for your family

• Modeling competence, creativity, and contribution

• Showing your kids what's possible when women refuse to shrink

• Designing a life where work energizes you instead of depleting you

Shonda built an empire that includes shows like Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away with Murder. She didn't do it by being a perfect mother. She did it by being an intentional one.

The Reality Check

This week, notice what changes when you reframe these moments:

• Missing a school event for an important business opportunity isn't guilt-worthy, it's strategic

• Working during "family time" when a deadline matters isn't failing, it's modeling commitment

• Letting your partner handle dinner while you finish a project isn't abandoning your role, it's using your team

• Showing up to the soccer game with laptop in hand isn't distracted parenting, it's integrated living

• Being proud of your ambition instead of apologizing for it isn't selfish, it's honest

What your kids learn from this isn't sacrifice, it's strategy.

The Plot Twist

The most successful CEO mamas I know don't hide their ambition from their children. They include them in it.

They explain why this client matters. They share the excitement of a successful launch. They let their kids see the behind-the-scenes of building something meaningful.

They don't pretend motherhood is their only identity. They model what it looks like to be a whole human who happens to also be raising other humans.

Your kids don't need you to be perfect. They need you to be real.

And the real you? The one building something significant while also showing up for bedtime stories when you can?

That woman is teaching them something no parenting book ever could: that women contain multitudes, that mothers can be powerful beyond the home, and that success doesn't require choosing between ambition and love.

👭 I'd love to hear from you. What would change in your life if you stopped apologizing for your ambition and started celebrating it as good parenting? What trade-offs are you making that you've been calling "failure" instead of "strategy"? Hit reply - this conversation is changing how we define successful motherhood.

💌 Know a CEO mama drowning in guilt? Forward this to her. Sometimes the most radical thing we can do is give each other permission to be ambitious mothers without shame.

✨ P.S. If you're ready to run your home as efficiently as you run your business, I’ve got the perfect guide for you. The Home Harmony Handbook is now available and it’s 170+ pages of pure gold on systems, routines, checklists and training guides for running your home like a well-oiled machine. Grab it here with a special CEO Mama discount.

"Anyone who tells you they are doing it all perfectly is a liar." - Shonda Rhimes
The truth is so much better than the performance.