CEO Mama Newsletter: 35th Edition

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The allure of opting out: As the tradwife trend explodes on social media, ambitious mothers are grappling with a provocative question: is choosing traditional roles the ultimate rebellion against impossible modern expectations?

Bottom Line Up Front:

I personally don’t think the tradwife trend is really about returning to the 1950s. It’s about escaping the impossible standards of modern motherhood. But most tradwife content is created by women with significant financial safety nets, or generating significant creator economy revenue, performing dependence rather than actually living it.

Before we romanticize opting out, we need to understand what we’re really opting into.

The Algorithm Knows What You Want

My Instagram feed has been full of women in prairie dresses baking sourdough while their kids play quietly in sunlit kitchens. They’re milking cows at dawn, hanging laundry on lines, and whispering about the joy of serving their families.

Welcome to #tradwife: a movement that’s exploded on social media, with influencers like Hannah Neeleman (Ballerina Farm) amassing nearly 9 million followers by showcasing a life of traditional domesticity that looks like a Norman Rockwell painting come to life.

At first, I rolled my eyes. Then a pang of jealousy for the so-called simple life. Then confusion for the illusion of “no work”, but actually significantly profitable content. 

But the more I watched, the more I understood why it’s resonating with so many accomplished women.

In a world where we’re told we can “have it all,” the fantasy of doing just one thing well feels deeply appealing.

But before we swap our blazers for prairie dresses, I think there are some honest questions we need to sit with.

The Exhaustion Exodus

Let’s start with why this is happening now.

The reality for so many modern mothers:

• Expected to work like we don’t have children

• Expected to parent like we don’t work

• Criticized no matter what choices we make

• Told we can “have it all” with zero structural support

• Managing the mental load while also contributing financially

When you’re drowning in impossible expectations, the idea of having clear, simple roles feels like a life raft.

The tradwife promise is seductive:

One primary role instead of juggling a hundred
Clear expectations instead of endless optimization
Focus on family instead of constant productivity
Permission to prioritize home over hustle

As one Gen Z woman told BuzzFeed: “I am happier than ever and can’t wait for this to continue into marriage and children. I wish I knew this was an acceptable choice sooner instead of having people demean it as a life choice.”

But I can’t help but wonder… is this really about choice, or is it about exhaustion?

The Privilege Paradox

Here’s what most tradwife content doesn’t show you: the money.

Hannah Neeleman married into the JetBlue fortune. Nara Smith’s husband is a model with generational wealth. Estee Williams (like most!) monetizes tradwife content through brand partnerships and courses. No shade, I love seeing women making money, but let’s not look at it with rose tinted glasses.

The truth about tradwife influencers? Most aren’t financially dependent, and in fact, a lot of them are the breadwinners. They’re performing traditional gender roles from a place of privilege that makes the performance possible.

They have:

• Significant family wealth or inheritance

• Elite educations to fall back on

• Social media income streams

• Profitable back-end creator economy businesses

• Family safety nets

Real financial dependence looks different. It looks like:

• No access to bank accounts or credit

• No retirement savings in your name

• Inability to leave if the relationship becomes abusive

• Economic devastation if your partner dies or becomes disabled

The Authenticity Question

There’s something that bothers me about a lot of tradwife content: it feels like curated performance art.

Real traditional domestic life (or at least what I’ve seen of it!) involves:

• Cleaning toilets and wiping down counters at midnight.

• Financial stress and tense conversations.

• Kids melting down while dinner burns.

• Limited personal autonomy and decision-making power.

• Social isolation and feeling trapped in small routines.

But tradwife Instagram shows us:

• Perfectly styled kitchens with $10,000 ranges.

• Children who never have meltdowns on camera.

• Endless time for elaborate bread scoring.

• Designer prairie dresses for daily chores.

• Professional photography of domestic tasks.

It’s lifestyle porn. Not lifestyle reality.

One ex-tradwife who went viral on TikTok shared: “I work three minimum-wage jobs now just to pay my rent.” The comments were full of women sharing similar stories of economic devastation after their “traditional” relationships ended.

The Choice Feminism Trap

Tradwife rhetoric often uses feminist language about “choice” to promote anti-feminist outcomes.

The argument goes: “Feminism means women can choose anything, including traditional roles. Why are you judging my choice?”

But here’s what that misses: individual choices don’t exist in a vacuum. They exist within systems and structures that make some choices possible for some women but not others.

When we celebrate individual women’s “choice” to be financially dependent, we often ignore:

• How economic inequality makes this choice unavailable to most

• How these choices reinforce systems that limit other women’s opportunities

• How romanticizing dependence affects policies around childcare, healthcare, and family support

It’s not anti-choice to point out that individual choices have collective consequences.

What Modern Mothers Are Really Craving

Here’s where I think the tradwife trend gets it right. It’s tapping into something so many of us are missing.

We’re craving:

Permission to slow down without being called lazy.
A sense of purpose that isn’t constantly measured and optimized.
Clear priorities instead of a hundred competing demands.
Community and belonging instead of isolated achievement.
Seasonal rhythms instead of relentless productivity.

The tradwife aesthetic packages all of this but requires giving up autonomy, financial security, and often personal growth.

The question is: can we get what we’re really craving without the cost?

The Danish Alternative

Let’s look at Denmark again, where families consistently report higher satisfaction and better work-life balance.

Danish society offers:

• Generous parental leave for both parents

• Subsidized childcare and healthcare

• Flexible work arrangements for everyone

• Cultural acceptance of “good enough” parenting

• Strong social safety nets that don’t depend on marriage

Danish mothers aren’t choosing between financial independence and family focus… they’re seemingly supported in having both.

The difference? They’ve created structural support for families instead of forcing individual women to choose between competing needs.

Creating Boundaries Without Opting Out

What if instead of choosing between total independence and total dependence, we created what we actually need?

Here are a few small experiments I’m trying (maybe they’ll spark something for you too):

The Seasonal Business Model.
Structure work around natural rhythms instead of constant growth. Some seasons are for building, others for maintaining, others for rest.

The Partnership Audit.
If you’re partnered, regularly discuss who’s carrying what load: emotional, financial, domestic. Adjust as life changes rather than defaulting to old roles.

The Community Investment.
Build relationships with other families for mutual support instead of trying to do everything alone.

The Enough Practice.
Define what “enough” looks like for your family in terms of income, activities, stuff, and commitments. Use it as a filter for decisions.

The Boundary Experiment.
Create clear work boundaries without needing a partner to enforce them. Practice saying no to opportunities that don’t align with your current season.

The Real Rebellion

Maybe the most radical thing isn’t choosing traditional roles or rejecting them entirely.

Maybe it’s refusing to accept these as our only options.

What if we demanded:

• Structural support for families regardless of configuration

• Flexible work that doesn’t force a choice between career and kids

• Healthcare and childcare that isn’t dependent on marriage or employment

• Cultural acceptance that parents are whole humans with needs beyond caregiving

The tradwife trend reveals something important: we’re exhausted by impossible standards and lack of support. But the solution isn’t to retreat into dependence. It’s to demand better systems.

The Questions We Should Be Asking

Before romanticizing any lifestyle, whether tradwife domesticity or bossbabe entrepreneurship, ask:

Economic reality check.

• Could I actually afford this lifestyle without family money or influencer income?

• What happens to me financially if this arrangement ends?

• Am I choosing this from security… or desperation?

Authenticity audit.

• Does the content I’m consuming show the full reality or just the highlight reel?

• Who benefits from me believing this narrative?

• What are the unglamorous parts no one’s talking about?

Systems thinking.

• What structural changes would make my preferred lifestyle accessible to more women?

• How do my individual choices affect other women’s opportunities?

• What am I really craving, and are there other ways to get it?

Your Turn: The Craving Audit

This week, when you find yourself drawn to tradwife content (or any lifestyle content), pause and ask:

What am I really craving right now?
Permission to slow down?
Clear priorities?
Community support?
Financial security?
Creative expression?
Seasonal rhythms?

And then ask:

How could I get this without giving up what matters most to me?

The Plot Twist

The tradwife trend isn’t about going backward. It’s about going inward. It’s women trying to find sustainability in an unsustainable culture.

But we don’t have to choose between autonomy and authenticity, between financial independence and family focus, between ambition and softness.

What if the real rebellion is creating lives that honour both our need for security and our need for growth? What if we built systems that supported families without requiring anyone to give up their personhood?

The prairie dresses are pretty, but the future we need is something far more complex, and far more interesting, than anything we’ll find on Instagram.

👭 I’d love to hear from you. What’s your honest reaction to the tradwife trend? What are you craving that it seems to offer and what would you need to get that without the trade-offs? Hit reply. This conversation is just getting started.

💌 Know someone wrestling with these questions? Forward this to her. Sometimes the best thing we can do is complicate the simple answers we’re being sold.

✨ P.S. If you’re craving conversations like this alongside other ambitious, entrepreneurial mothers who get it - apply to join the CEO Mama Membership.
Inside, we dive into monthly workshops led by industry experts, plus facilitated mastermind groups that make you feel far less alone in these questions and choices. Apply here.