CEO Mama Newsletter: 17th Edition

Hey ,

Lindsay here 👋

Let me tell you something…I was never going to be a Pinterest mom.

No elaborate bento box lunches or perfectly themed birthday parties. That was never my thing.

But there was one expectation I did carry for a long time: that my kids’ needs + wants should always come before mine.

Not just in the big picture, but in the day-to-day.

If my kids needed something, their needs automatically won. If I needed something, I’d push it aside because I’m a mom now.

And when I did prioritize myself, whether it was carving out time for work, choosing rest over playing with them, or not jumping in to fulfill their every wish, I felt guilty.

Because wasn’t I supposed to always put them first?
Wasn’t that what a good mom did?

The mental loop was exhausting.

I didn’t want to feel overextended and depleted all the time.
But I also didn’t want to feel like I was taking something away from them.

And now that they’re older, in elementary school, with interests and activities they actually care about (and that require a lot more driving😅), I feel this tension in a whole new way.

But I recently found a mindset shift that made everything more clear.

The Shift That Changed Everything

Brené Brown talks about three types of families in this reel:

1️⃣ Kid-First families – where the kids’ needs always come first, no matter the cost to the parents.
2️⃣ Parent-First families – where the parents’ needs dictate everything, and the kids are expected to comply.
3️⃣ Family-First families – where decisions are made based on what’s sustainable and fair for the whole family.

That last one hit me hard.

Once our kids have their own interests, activities, and opinions, we need to start having real Family-First conversations.

It can’t be that the kids get everything they want.
It can’t be that us parents get everything we want.
Instead, we need to look at the full picture and decide together what works best for our family as a whole.

What a Family-First Family Actually Looks Like

This isn’t about you sacrificing less. It’s about all of us learning to work together.

A Family-First approach teaches our kids:

• Life is about collaboration. They don’t always get exactly what they want, but they also aren’t expected to self-sacrifice at their own expense.

• Everyone’s needs matter— including mom’s. They see us modeling what it looks like to take care of ourselves AND show up for others.

• Decisions are made as a team. We talk about schedules, priorities, and plans as a family so they learn how to navigate real-life give-and-take.

• They are part of something bigger than themselves. This is not just their childhood — it’s our whole family’s life.

Some weeks, that means they don’t do every single activity they want to do.
Some weeks, that means we rearrange our schedules to show up for them.

But it’s no longer a constant trade-off where we self-sacrifice every time. And it’s no longer just mom deciding for everyone.

It’s a conversation. It’s a rhythm. It’s a HOME where everyone has a voice, and everyone plays a part in making it work.

One of the biggest lessons you’ll learn — both in business and in motherhood — is that systems create sustainability.

If a business only works when you are doing everything yourself, it’s not a business… it’s a bottleneck. It can’t grow. It can’t breathe. It can’t function without constant effort.

And yet, so many of us run our families the same way, treating ourselves as the system — adjusting everything around our kids, carrying the full weight of making life run smoothly, and ensuring everyone else is taken care of before we even think about ourselves.

But here’s the truth: You are not the system.

A Family-First mindset changes everything.

Just like in business, it allows you to look at your family as a whole unit, not just a collection of individual needs, but a system that has to work for everyone, including you.

And isn’t that what you want?

A business that thrives without running you into the ground.
A home that functions without relying on your constant sacrifice.
A life where everyone’s needs (including yours) are part of the equation.

Because you’re not just raising kids — you’re raising future adults.

And if you want them to learn how to build a life that works for them, it starts with you modeling what it looks like to build a life that works for all of you.

The Hardest Part of This Shift? The Guilt. 

If you’ve spent years putting your kids’ needs ahead of your own, shifting to a Family-First mindset might feel… uncomfortable.

Even when you know it’s the right thing, the guilt still creeps in.

"Should I have just said yes?"
"Am I being selfish?"
"Am I doing this right?"

Sound familiar?

Here’s the truth: Feeling guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong — it means you’re unlearning something outdated.

Because the goal isn’t sacrifice. The goal is sustainability.

Your kids don’t need you running yourself into the ground.
They don’t need a mom who’s exhausted, stretched too thin, or resentful.
They need a home that works for all of you.

So next time you feel that guilt spiral starting, try this:

• Pause. Take a breath before reacting.

• Reality-check the guilt. Is this truly a problem, or just a deeply ingrained belief?

• Remind yourself: You’re not choosing between them and you—you’re choosing a rhythm that supports everyone.

• Reaffirm your decision. A healthy, balanced family means sometimes you say yes, and sometimes you say no—and both are okay.

This shift won’t erase guilt entirely. But it will help you move through it, instead of letting it make your decisions for you.

The best way to create a family-first rhythm? Talk about it.

So here’s your challenge:

Have a family conversation this week about priorities, schedules, and what everyone needs.

It doesn’t have to be formal, just a simple check-in:

• What’s important to you this week?

• What’s one thing we could do differently to make life easier for everyone?

You might be surprised at what comes up.

And if you try it, hit reply and tell me how it went — I’d love to hear. 

💛 Lindsay

P.S. If you’re looking for a community where you can be surrounded by ambitious mothers who get it, who are building businesses while raising babies, who know the juggle is real, and who want to grow without burnout — then CEO Mama is for you.

Submit your application here.